Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a great time doing whatever you’ll be doing, whether it’s spending time with your family or sitting in your underwear watching Dumb & Dumber on cable tonight (It’s on Comedy Central). We’re spending time with some of Lizzie’s family here in Minneapolis today, so there’s not a lot of traveling involved this year which is good. You see, I spend so much of my time in my car that I don’t always consider getting in it and driving for several hours a great vacation. However I will miss my family this year and usually the long drive is more than worthwhile. I will get to visit most of them over Christmas, so I have that to look forward to.

Like every year, I’m sure that in nearly every household the family know-it-all will tell everyone that the reason they’re so tired after the feast is due to all of the tryptophan in the turkey. Everyone will go “Hmm, how interesting!” even though they’ve heard this over and over for years. Guess what? It’s a myth! The tryptophan in turkey does not make you sleepy. Now it’s your turn to be the know-it-all.

From National Geographic:

Purified tryptophan is a mild sleep-inducing agent. That probably spawned the idea that turkey and other foods heavy in tryptophan cause drowsiness.

But tryptophan can’t get to the human brain in large amounts when ingested as part of a massive Thanksgiving feast—it needs an empty stomach.

Turkey isn’t even unusually high in tryptophan. Many foods, such as beef or soybeans, boast higher concentrations.

“Think about how much turkey you have in a turkey sandwich without getting tired,” said Sherrie Rosenblatt, spokesperson for the National Turkey Federation. The Washington, D.C. nonprofit represents the turkey industry.

So why the traditional Thanksgiving nap?

The slumber may be caused by the stressful hustle and bustle of the holidays, alcohol consumption, and the massive caloric intake of the year’s biggest feast.

So there you have it, the only reason you’re sleepy is because you just inhaled 2-3 times more calories than your body is used to. Finally this broken record can be put on the shelf for good.

I’ll be extra tired after today’s meal, the holiday season already has me exhausted. It really has come up on me quite fast this year. The last two months have felt like one long week, it’s all just gone by so fast. As for “Black Friday,” I’ll be working. No dashing off to the stores to get that extra 10-50% off. I probably will stop by the Mall of America this weekend, but only to see the world’s largest plasma TV and world’s largest gingerbread house. I guess unnecessarily over-sized stuff is the theme this year at the unnecessarily over-sized Mall of America.

Best wishes to everyone for a happy, safe, and filling Thanksgiving!

The first step to confronting your caffeine problem is admitting that you have a caffeine problem. Let’s see here… I brew up about 16 ounces of coffee in the morning, which I usually have drank up by 9:30-10:00 AM. This means I’ll usually have to get a regular sized cup at my 10:00AM break which I’ll have drank by lunch. Then on my lunch break, in order to make it through the afternoon I’ll usually get a triple espresso or a 14 ounce cup of dark roast charged with a shot of espresso. This is an essential part of my daily routine, seemingly as essential as filling up my car with fuel.

My morning coffee is so important, that if I were running late and was faced with a time crunch where I had to choose between brewing my coffee or scraping the ice off my car windsheild, I’d brew my coffee and drive to work Ace Ventura style with my head hanging out the drivers side window to see where I’m going. Yeah, I have a caffeine problem. But guess what Bub… You’ll take my coffee away when you pry my cold dead hands from the cup.

This article coming across the news wire makes you wonder -

City of Shaker Heights, Ohio ( Jan 17, 2006 ) — Following a health trend that appears to be brewing up all over the nation, Mayor Judith Rawson has signed a proclamation for the City of Shaker Heights that addresses the issues regarding caffeine intoxication and dependency.

In the proclamation the Mayor is “calling upon all Shaker Heights citizens, public and private institutions, business and schools to increase awareness and understanding of the consequences of caffeine consumption.”…

City of Shaker Heights is one of several cities across the country recognizing this annual event. This will be the third year for this event which is sponsored by the Caffeine Awareness Alliance, a non-profit organization. Marina Kushner, founder, states, “Each year more and more people are waking up to the real truth about the dangers of this ubiquitous drug. We are delighted that the mayor has recognized that this is not a laughing matter.”

I try really hard to be as fair as possible toward respecting people’s opinions and point of view on things, but aren’t there any more pressing issues these people could be spending this kind of energy on? I read up on Marina Kushner, the founder of this activist organization, and I wonder if her passion for this cause has anything to do with the fact that she has a book for sale on the dangers of caffeine and also sells her own line of caffeine-free soy coffees. Busted!

Sure, there are problems with caffeine, and sometimes I worry about those certain side effects that come along with having a few too many tasty caffeinated beverages. I’ve been reading that the effects caffeine has on metabolism can be both good and bad, and also that many of the long term effects of caffeine seem pretty controversial and they haven’t been fully proven for the most part. So ultimately I don’t think we’ll be seeing any “Truth” commercials for caffeine any time soon like we do for the whole anti-tobacco effort.

“Ask Alice” at Columbia U. tells us how to tell we’ve had too much caffeine -

It depends on the person — oftentimes, you’ll know when you’ve had more than enough if it makes you feel:

* anxious
* excitable
* restless
* dizzy
* irritable
* unable to concentrate
* gastrointestinal (GI) aches
* headaches that don’t seem to go away
* trouble with sleeping

These are among the most common of caffeine’s effects on our bodies when taken in high doses (i.e., more than eight 8-ounce cups of coffee a day), but they can certainly occur from lesser amounts as well. Many are the result of caffeine speeding up metabolism.

I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve been dizzy, jumpy, excitable, anxious, and get headaches from too much caffeine. It’s an interesting world when 50% of your blood is composed of caffeine. My most common problem, which has been known to come from having a simple can of Mountain Dew after 6PM, is the trouble with sleeping. I dealt with what I thought was a serious case of insomnia for a long time, then it occurred to me that I was drinking way too much caffeine in the evening.

So I cut myself off, and started drinking caffeine free soda in the evenings. So far it’s been working well for me. I’ve debated with a couple of people recently whether or not you can tell the difference between caffeine free and regular sodas, and in my opinion, you can definitely tell the caffeine isn’t there. Same with decaf coffee, it tastes completely different. To me, decaf coffee isn’t even drinkable.

Fortunately I have been strong enough not to fall victim to any other kind of addiction. I don’t smoke, don’t do any illegal drugs of course. Heck, it’s usually like pulling teeth trying to get me to take the over the counter drugs that I need for common ailments. I don’t like taking any of those drugs, I can’t stand the drowsiness or the stomach problems or whatever other side effects are involved. Also, I’m not a big drinker. I only drink the amount of alcohol that would be enough to catch a buzz on certain special occasions, and those occasions can be spread apart longer than once a month most of the time. I’ll have two or three beers throughout the week regularly, but that’s just because I enjoy the flavor of the brown ales that I drink.

The point is that compared to many things, caffeine dependency is a pretty trivial issue. Let’s hope it stays that way and we don’t discover in fifty years that we shouldn’t have been drinking the stuff.

Ever tried Jones Soda? They recently released some new limited edition flavors just in time for Halloween. One is Caramel Apple, which happens to be even tastier than it sounds. Second, Candy Corn. Bluch-grugg-uuh-blah-blurgh was the sound my stomach made when it hit my taste buds. Just couldn’t finish it, it was some really vile tasting stuff. They should have gone with circus peanut flavored soda instead. Perhaps Mellowcreme Pumpkin? Or Wonka’s Bottlecaps? Yum!

At least they didn’t go with Sugar Daddies, Mary Janes, or that godawful bit-o-honey. Or whatever those horrible peanut butter things in the black and orange wrappers were. There’s a special place in hell reserved for people who gave those out at Halloween. Yuck.

But I do love Candy Corn. Always have. I would usually only eat the white part, though, and throw the rest away. Is that strange? Comedian Lewis Black would point out that “Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that’s never been advertised. And there’s a reason - all of the candy corn ever made was made in 1911.”

Since Jones Soda seems to be into making a flavored soda out of everything you can imagine, I suggest steak flavored. Yeah! Everyone loves steak! Then General Mills could come up with Steak flavored cereal (T-Bone Puffs?). Frito-Lay could make some steak flavored chips? Sounds like a brilliant idea to me.

If you’re wondering what this Jones Soda stuff is, you can probably find it at your local Target. The cream soda is excellent. Sometimes Jones will make an awesome flavor, and sometimes a crap flavor. Well, not literally, but you get the point.

I read the below article in the news recently. I guess it’s time to move to Sweden and start a hot dog stand. I could sell at 75% off and still make a killing!

THE world’s most expensive hot dog will go on sale in Stockholm as part of a United Nations-sponsored event aimed at highlighting the problem of poverty as world leaders gather at the UN summit in New York.
Hot dogs and veggie dogs will be sold in downtown Stockholm for 999 Swedish kronor ($170) a piece, said Klas Waldenstroem, a spokesman for the United Nations Development Programme’s Nordic office.

“The goal is to highlight world poverty during the UN summit in New York by using a simple metaphor - the customary Swedish ‘korv’ (hot dog) - to show people here what it would be like to live life without having enough money for even the most basic things,” he said.

More than more than a billion people worldwide live on less than one dollar a day, according to the UNDP.

“We’re not just talking about having it tight financially. We’re talking about poverty that is paralysing,” Mr Waldenstroem said.

For someone who lives on a dollar a day, buying a hot dog at the regular price of 20 kronor ($3.40) would be as impossible as asking your typical, well-to-do Swede to pay one thousand kronor for a “korv”, he pointed out.

Read the whole article here.

Seriously now, this is such a lame comparison. Beggars can beg for $1.50 or whatever it costs to buy a hot dog in New York City because they are surrounded by wealth. Real poor people who would dream about hot dogs are surrounded by nothing but other poor people. When you’re starving in the middle of an African desert, in a country ruled by a ruthless government, relish, mustard and ketchup packets we throw away would seem like heaven.

The world’s poor need caring, honest leaders and protectors - something I’m afraid the UN could never provide. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the UN is totally useless. The United Nations is primarily a relief organization. It’s their job to prevent war. By saying the United Nations is useless, I would be making the argument that they have never assisted anyone, nor has their presence prevented a single war, and I’d be very wrong on both counts.

But with modern day transportation, communication, and agriculture technology, famine should be a thing of the past. The only reason people starve these days is for political reasons, and that is something that unfortunately the UN has little power over.

I posted every day this week, as you can see. Mostly nothing personal, all just plain silliness. It was fun. A great way to spend my lunch break, writing little blurbs of utter nonsense. Here’s the plan: Long boring posts about my daily life one day on the weekends, short and sweet little posts about miscellaneous nonsense (including personal stuff, when it arises) five days a week. I might skip a day or two, but I’m going to start writing more now that we are getting into fall and I’ll be spending less time out doing things. It’s that time of year again to start hibernating in our warm little holes. And now that I’m seeing more traffic to the site than ever, perhaps this will increase return visitors. Or decrease it? I can’t imagine anyone can take too much of my blathering.

Anyway, it was a great week. I was in a pretty good mood all week. I think it’s the weather, and the fact that my allergies haven’t been so bad. Maybe I’ll skip a year and not have to go through the annual 3-4 month long hellacious allergy struggle. That would be great.

I’ll write tomorrow or Sunday. See you then.

What’s with advertisers claiming they’ve improved the taste of their food? Doritos Nacho Cheesier is doing it, even though I don’t think they taste any different than before. Tonight I pulled out a can of soup that’s doing it. I have to say, one of the most disheartening things in the world is to grab out a can of chicken noodle soup from the pantry and see a huge yellow starburst exclaiming the words “Improved taste!”

This is not the sort of achievement you should be proud of. “Our food used to be gross, but now… not so much!” isn’t really the message I think I’d want to convey if I was advertising a food product.

Personally, I think i’d try to get some sort of celebrity spokesperson to eat my soup and wait for them to give a positive comment on it. That’s what everyone wants, to know that their idol approves. And the great thing is, the more notorious the celebrity, the less they really need to say. But you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t buy the soup that Christopher Walken said “didn’t make me vomit so violently that it came out of my nostrils and on to my pants.” That’s the soup for me, right there. But “Improved taste?” Come on…

I think I’ll be finding something else to eat tonight. Now I must be going because it’s 7:00 on Monday and that means it’s time to watch King of Queens. Just thought I’d share my thoughts on this matter. Good night.

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